A BOOK OF HOPE

LEARN FROM THE WISDOM OF THOSE WHO HAVE HAD EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCES TO COPE WITH YOUR GREAT LOSS

You can cope with your great loss by learning from the experiences of others who have managed similar losses. Millions of people who are grieving the death of a loved one often encounter a phenomena which helps them deal with change and reinvest in life. However, it's commonly dismissed by family, friends, and some counselors as an artifact of grief or a product of the disorganization and anxiety of the grief process. Yet they contain much insight and wisdom for all.

This site is designed to normalize the extraordinary and recommend that it be used to help the person who has the experience -- as well as those who have yet to confront it -- deal with the loss of their loved one. Much can be learned. These powerful events benefit the bereaved and their caregivers by restoring hope, giving comfort, and opening up a whole new way of looking at life and death. The issue is not where do these experiences originate. The significant fact is that they do happen for a purpose, and the focus should be on how should we put them to work.

HERE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE BENEFITS YOU WILL RECEIVE BY READING Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved
* BECOME AWARE OF THE MANY WAYS OTHERS KNOW THEY HAVE RECEIVED A SIGN OR MESSAGE FROM A DECEASED LOVED ONE OR A DIVINE BEING

*CHOOSE TO PRAY FOR A SIGN THAT YOUR LOVED ONE IS OKAY.

*DISCOVER HOW TO USE EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCES AS A CONTINUING BOND TO COPE WITH YOUR LOSS

*FIND OUT HOW TO HELP OTHERS COPE WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

*BEGIN THE PROCESS OF DEVELOPING A STRONG INNER LIFE

*REALIZE YOU ARE LOVED FOREVER, AND IT IS NECESSARY TO DEVELOP A NEW BUT DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DECEASED LOVED ONE

WHAT THOSE WHO HAVE THE EXPERIENCE SAY
As a certified grief counselor I have interviewed scores of people who are convinced they have had a sign or message from a deceased loved one, viewed it as a most positive occurrence, and accepted it as a gift for healing. In the twenty-five years I have studied the phenomena what is clear is that those who have had an EE know they have connected with another reality every bit as meaningful as the physical reality they live and grieve in each day. It is important to honor such a profound personal experience, examine the mystery that surrounds it, and use it in adapting to loss and change.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What are Extraordinary Experiences?

The Extraordinary Experiences (EE's) of the bereaved comprise an exciting new field of research which focuses on a variety of events in which a bereaved person believes he or she has been spontaneously contacted by a deceased loved one. Researchers have coined the term after-death communication (Extraordinary Experience) to describe the whole range of phenomena that occurs. It is important to emphasize that the living person is not actively seeking to make contact with the deceased; the experience does not in any way involve a psychic or invoking the deceased. Instead, it is the deceased (or some believe a Supreme Being) who seems to reach out to the bereaved and in doing so provide much-needed solace and comfort. Again, the EE occurs spontaneously, without warning.

When do these experiences occur?

Although a contact experience may occur at any time, it commonly takes place when one is grieving the death of a loved one and often becomes the basis for the bereaved person to accept the loss and to reengage life.

Here is an example: In a small upstate New York town Rosalind Hill-Tandy was reading the newspaper as she always did late in the afternoon. She was also still grieving the loss of her second husband. Suddenly, she smelled the unmistakable scent of Brute, the cologne Vince used to wear. Yet none of his after-shave lotions or powder were in the house. Then she clearly heard his voice: “Rozz, there is no time to waste.” She interpreted his message as reassuring her that she was doing the right thing and that he was still concerned about her.

Who has the experience?

These extraordinary encounters occur to people of all races, creeds, and social status and commonly bring comfort and healing to the mourner.

TYPES OF EXPERIENCES
In my work with EE's I have classified them by way of fifteen types of encounters from sensing the presence of the deceased (a rather common event) or smelling an essence associated with him or her, to hearing, seeing, or being touched by the person. A number of EE's also occur to third or fourth parties who then relay the message to the mourner. Messages are also believed to be conveyed through dreams and natural symbols: rainbows, butterflies, birds and animals or through the unexpected movement of physical objects. Any of these unexplainable happenings may occur shortly after the death of the loved one or months or years later. One or several combinations of the above have been experienced by many bereaved persons. It has been estimated that over 70 million people have had the experience.

HOW EXPERIENCES HELP
Although the phenomenon is widespread, its potential as a resource for coping with the death of a loved one is hardly known. What has been consistently overlooked by those who have not had the experience, and are unable to grasp its impact on grief work, is the fact that it helps the bereaved accept the loss of the loved one (a major task of mourning), and reinvest in life. More specifically, the experience meets two of our most basic human needs: affection and connection with our loved ones. The EE suggests that we are always loved by and connected to the person who died. Continuing bonds are normal and healthy. If you have had an Extraordinary Experience, share it with someone you trust, and use it as a gift to accept change and provide meaning. Much can be learned about mystery and the unknown that will change your perspective on life and death.

LOVE CLEARLY LIVES ON AND YOU CAN LEARN TO HELP YOURSELF OR A FRIEND COPE WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE
Berkley Books, a division of Penguin (USA), has recently released, LOVE LIVES ON: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. This is a book offering comfort, reassurance, and hope in the face of sorrow for anyone mourning the death of a loved one as well as those who provide support for the bereaved, whether family, volunteers, or professionals. You will learn how to use seven wisdom lessons gleaned from extraordinary encounters and integrate them with the following nine proven survival skills that have been used by millions to cope with the death of their loved ones. 1. Communicate and relate. 2. Discover and grieve your secondary losses. 3. Express emotion. 4. Do something. 5. Start new routines and traditions. 6. Go outside of yourself: Strive to be more loving. 7. Trust mystery and the unseen. 8. Replenish without feeling guilty. 9. Learn to shift your inner focus. "This inspiring book demonstrates that 'mysterious' encounters with the deceased are in fact critically important parts of the healing process." Bruce Greyson, MD Carlson Professor of Psychiatry University of Virginia Health System "As I came across your book I was thrilled to read it, and truly realized how it is fitting for 'ALL' who are grieving." Dawn Fries ANY BOOK PURCHASED THROUGH THIS WEBSITE INCLUDES A FREE 30 MINUTE CONSULTATION WITH Dr.LaGRAND ON ANY ASPECT OF GRIEF. Scroll back to the top of this page and click on RESOURCES for FREE consultations and further information. TO ORDER Love Lives On NOW AND RECIEVE A FREE MONTHLY EZINE ON GRIEF AND COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE (BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS): Send a check or money order for $17.00 (includes shipping & handling) to L. LaGrand, 450 Fairway Isles Dr., Venice, FL 34285. Indicate if you wish to purchase a signed copy. Go to Amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com for additional information. PLEASE REFER THIS WEBSITE TO A FRIEND AND BOOKMARK IT NOW.